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belly laughs.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Thought it would be funny to record some of the HUMOROUS and sometimes rude comments I've gotten througout this pregnancy.

Most come from my comedian of a husband, who if you know in real life then you know that he is an absolute nut and there is no telling what he will say one day to the next. This is one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him, yes, but it doesn't mean I don't roll my eyes [along with a smile and chuckle] a time or two...daily. I know half of this stuff he just says to make me laugh. He knows me all too well. It works. Some may not even find this post remotely funny, but again this blog is my way of documenting the good, the bad...and the ugly so here goes...
  • First time stranger rubbed my belly, it surprisingly didn't feel AS awkward as I thought it would. But she did, however, pat my belly and say in an exciting tone "Aw, it's a lil' girl in there!!?" Um. Wrong. Guess again. I told Chad, he said "Poor Cade"
  • I was sitting on the high bar stool behind the check out counter at Sugar so I suppose all the customer could see was from my chest up. She came over and asked if I could try something on for her daughter since we looked to be the same size. Then she got closer and as I stood up to explain, her eyes got super big and she just died laughing. Yep, not sure that's going to fit me honey!
  • I have adored my maternity Citizens jeans. They are just the most comfy things ever...until my belly started getting super big and the panel just hit at the wrong spot and felt like it was cutting my circulation off. Maybe I should have tried the "below the belly panel". So now I wear a lot of leggings and one day Cameron and I were in Target and look over to this 60 year old woman wearing the SAME. EXACT. OUTFIT. as me. Black leggings, a gray longer dress/tunic, black flats, and a black "grandma sweater" as Cameron calls it. I like to call it a cardigan thank you very much. Needless to say, she DIED laughing but I insisted the woman was a very CHIC, well dressed 60 year old.
  • A lady buzzes by me in Krispy Kreme {go figure} and quickly says "Congratulations!" It startled me so much for a brief second or two I thought "For WHAT?"
  • Chad: "I mean who is going to tell us how to raise a child? Is there not a book for this? I'm scared"
Me: "Well the pediatrician tells you when they can eat solids, etc... and guides us along the way"

Chad: " Do we have one of those?"

Me: "No, why don't you help me decide. I'm thinking Dr. Fuqua"

Chad: " Sandi!!!!!!! Did you just cuss at me?"

Me: "FOO-QUAY Chad, you pronounce her name FOO-QUAY!"
  • My granddad: " Are you suuuurrrreee there's not twins in there?" ha, thanks pops.
  • A lady asked me {when I was only 32 weeks mind you} "So when are you due? TOMORROW?????!! HA HA HA" ..... somehow I find this the least bit comical.
  • I walk into the den after getting ready for bed and must have lifted my shirt a bit to show Chad my belly and how big it had gotten overnight. His only response {so serious} "Um, do you have Crisco on your belly?" ..... Crisco? Really? Me: "It's called Bio-Oil" Chad: " Same thing"
  • Yet another night he looks at me and out of the blue says "You look albino. Like as if you have ZERO pigmentation left in your skin". Wow, again - thanks honey.
  • Walk out of my store only to hear the barber shop owner across the street yell "Giiiiirrrrrrllll that baby done DROPPED!" . Um, first of all I didn't even think you knew I was pregnant but appreciate it. Yep, thanks for letting the entire street know.
  • Chad: " Your belly is SO big, it needs its own Facebook and I'm pretty sure I just saw it trending on Twitter". [ok he doesn't have a Facebook and has never been on Twitter so how he knows what this stuff means I have no idea. This is why it's hilarious!]
  • Just this past weekend, as we are days away from meeting our new little one, Chad looks at me dead serious as we are trying to pack a few of his items into my bag {finally} and he asks "So like, are we suppose to take stuff to the hospital for the baby too?" Seriously, I didn't respond for nearly two silent minutes then reminded him "Chad. The baby has had his bag packed for weeks. Get with it buddy"
  • Pull up to a McDonalds drive thru [yeah go figure. Judge away] at nearly 39 weeks prego and the lady opens the window, looks down at my big belly - eyes widen and says..."How YOU doing?" Yes. I get it lady.
  • Our four year old nephew Maddox, referring to the baby and a c-section ? : "Can we cut him out tomoooooorrow?" Graphic kids these days.
  • Chad: "Awww, babe you look so pretty in that purple shirt..." Major brownie points. "...kind of like Barney the dinosaur". Major deduction. Possible slap in the face. HA!
and last but not least...

Me: "Doctor said I've dialated a centimeter and I'm 75% effaced"....
Few days later Chad looks at me and asks "So what did the doctor say again? You are seventy something percent about faced?"

Bless.

See what I deal with? Bring on the reality show. This is about to get REAL hilarious once this baby gets here!

3 comments:

  1. HAHA! preggo comments are the best. Now I get REALLY awkward comments because apparently I look 16 and people can't believe Harper is my baby. One lady came up to me at dinner and said, "What a beautiful baby! Where is his mom?" I responded, "He is all mine." She responded, "You can't be old enough to have a baby, how old are you? 16?" I mean REALLY!?!

    You are getting so close! I can't wait to see photos of the sweet baby boy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Preggo comments are definitely the best!!!! Tell Chad that "Poor Cade" will probably be called a girl more times than y'all will be able to count once he's on the outside too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This has seriously made my day WAY better!
    Partly because I've had some of the same things said to me. And partly because YOUR HUSBAND IS HILARIOUS!!!!! Never met him, but wow. He's a keeper!!

    ReplyDelete

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